Every situation has a silver lining – discover a mindset that heals and enlightens.
August 25, 2021 · 7 min read
Beauty is power; a smile is its sword. - John Ray
You know, I’ve been obsessed with my looks for very many years and couldn’t figure out the answer how to be beautiful.
The answer to this question is very simple, actually. You are beautiful in so many ways that you probably wouldn’t have thought of. If you still can’t figure it out, then that’s because you live with yourself every day, every hour, and every breath. You get used to yourself.
Everything becomes ordinary for us and we unconsciously ignore the beauty inside and outside of us. However, there are always space for improvement to feel prettier and more beautiful.
To understand how to feel beautiful, you first have to understand why you don’t feel beautiful in the first place.
You might feel not beautiful because of your lack of self-esteem and inability to accept yourself the way you are. You neglect your inner beauty as well.
Also, you might ignore comments of strangers or your friends. You are stuck in a perpetual loop telling yourself that no matter what you are still not beautiful.
That was the exact case for me. I wasted all my young years thinking I’m not attractive and by trying to improve my external looks. However, I was in shock to figure out that it’s not the biggest reason why people like you.
The biggest reason why people like you and think you are beautiful is your personality and people’s skills.
Here I present reasons why you might not feel beautiful about yourself:
The first impression that makes people think of a person whether he’s beautiful or not is the outside looks. That’s something all people notice on the streets and start judging based on that. Those are, sadly, society norms.
Some people are just genetically more beautiful than the others and you can hardly do anything about bit, unless you go for plastic surgeries (which is highly not recommended).
You wished you were him one day. Now, one day he’s on the news because he stole a car which belongs to a old 75 year old man.
How beautiful is that person to you now? How much do you adore him from that point?
My point is, that beauty equation doesn’t consist only of the outside looks. In fact, the more you hang out with a person, the less his outside looks matter. The most important thing is what’s in the inside. This is a cliché thing to say, but it’s the truth if you want to feel pretty.
Now that we know what makes people beautiful, we can have a small peak on the signs that you are beautiful. Perhaps you neglect and ignore the environment and are too self-aware to notice that.
Definitely, there are mixed signs that regard your beauty. However, you have to interpret them and analyze. That’s the only way to figure it out.
There is no definition of beauty, but when you can see someone's spirit coming through, something unexplainable, that's beautiful to me. - Liv Tyler
Smiling is a powerful tool to attract other people and to feel prettier about yourself.
Smiling is an essential element to your success to become likable to other people. People with this trait appear to be warmer people and other people are more likely to approach you.
Have you ever seen a person that’s constantly smiling or laughing? Chances are that this person is surrounded by more people than the other person that doesn’t smile.
Purely because of the reason that some people don’t smile, they appear unapproachable and thus they have this false idea that they are not attractive and nobody likes them.
Practice smiling in front of a mirror if that’s too unusual for you. Believe me, you will feel more beautiful and confident. The results are worth it.
This skill is by far the most important that you might need in your life. It has so many benefits, and one of those are feeling more beautiful.
Without confidence, you have a lot of doubts in yourself. Not only in your looks, but in your skills and your self-worth in general.
You’ve probably seen those health pyramids, where the most important foods are listed on the very bottom. Usually there are grains and vegetables.
In a parallel, the beauty pyramid at the bottom has confidence. This character trait is the foundation of all the good things that happen in your life. Perception of beauty is a part of confidence also.
There is a kind of beauty in imperfection. - Conrad Hall
Confidence is something that has to be constantly developed throughout the whole life. As soon as you will stop training it, you will start being unsure about your decisions, values and life priorities.
At the healthy peak of confidence, you will be admired, trusted, respected and very approachable.
You can boost your confidence by making little victories everyday: making a very delicious meal, starting a conversation with someone, going exercising, learning something new, improving your DIY, musical, drawing or any other skills, and similar.
Undoubtedly, you have to make sure you don’t forget about your external looks.
As much as internal looks are important, we’d be lying to ourselves that external looks don’t have any significance.
There are a lot of great examples by just how doing a few touch-ups can change your appearance. Here are two fun examples you should see.
Skip to 2:35 if you want for quick comparison results in this video:
Skip to 1:51 if you want to see comparison results:
There are so many little things you can do to improve your looks and feel pretty again. Don’t be afraid to explore and find what suits you the best.
A study done by researchers has found that having a straight posture boosts confidence within yourself. The co-author of the study and professor Richard Petty said, that not only the straight posture affects positive thoughts of strangers, but it also affect how we think of ourselves.
In short, a straight posture brings positive thoughts about ourselves. As a result, we feel more beautiful.
Another study has also indicated that power poses boost confidence.
Power poses can be something like taking both of your hands, crossing fingers with each hand and taking it under your neck. Another power pose could be simply putting your hands on the waist and standing wider than the shoulders’ width.
This study found that an increase of testosterone and 27% boost of confidence has been achieved by participants.
Therefore, keep in mind that posture is a very powerful tool on how you think about yourself.
Having people that support you and make you feel happy is very neglected.
People that you communicate with have a very big impact on your self-respect, confidence, and whether you feel beautiful and good about yourself or not.
You have to work on your relationships to make them better, or, if your social circle is toxic, you should end those relationships. Definitely, it’s easier said than done, but that’s for your own good.
You can also find very interesting and supporting people through mutual hobbies. Certainly, it might be harder to find new friends after high school, because people tend to be more cautious and closed, but usually common activities connect people and that’s how friendship bond is created.
Real beauty is to be true to oneself. That's what makes me feel good. - Laetitia Casta
Positive people and friends can inspire you, make you become a better person which result in higher self-esteem. Always be alert of people that try to hurt you in any way. Don’t let those people come in your heart. You deserve to be surrounded by supportive people and feel pretty.
This is another very impactful aspect that determines whether you look yourself as a beautiful person or not. When you neglect your well-being, you are more prone to have anxiety, uncertainty and feel unfulfilled in life.
Not only that, but taking care of yourself is crucial for overall well-being: your physical and mental health and happiness.
Take a weekend off only for yourself: have a SPA or/and massage session, go sightseeing, write a journal, plan a trip abroad, go for shopping. Do anything that would make you feel happy and do anything that you haven’t done at all or in a long time.
Bringing excitement into your life is an amazing feeling which has way too many benefits for you to miss out!
Therefore, don’t ignore your happiness. You deserve to feel beautiful.
A healthy body is a healthy mind, isn’t it?
Taking care of yourself by exercising, implementing healthy eating and living habits will not only improve your mindset, but it will also take care of the problem why you don’t feel beautiful.
Here are a few tips I want to share that I practice myself:
1. Exercise. Do cardio: jogging, cycling, swimming, going for long walks, tennis and anything else that suits you. You can also do weightlifting to tone your body and perhaps lose some weight If you need to. Your confidence will sky-rocket through the roof!
2. Eat healthier. The focus keyword is healthier. You don’t have to go cold turkey all at once with unhealthy foods. Instead of eating crisps or chips have popcorn. Instead of fried food have cooked on the pan food with olive oil. Eat a little bit more vegetables and drink plenty of water. Start little by little and you will see amazing results.
The best part of beauty is that which no picture can express. - Francis Bacon
3. Take supplements. A lot of northern hemisphere people don’t get enough of sun. Therefore, they lack vitamin D, which is essential for our good mood strong bones and biochemical reactions. Also, don’t forget fish oil which is essential for healthy hair, nails and joints.
4. Avoid excessive sun exposure. Too much sun exposure can be harmful to you. According to a study the optimal time to be in sun exposure in spring and summer to obtain the recommended daily vitamin D amount is 10-20 minutes. In the winter it’s far more – almost 2 hours. Excessive sun exposure can cause faster aging of the skin, cancer and sun erythema.
5. Sleep optimal amount. A study has found that the optimal average amount of sleep is between 7-8 hours. Lack of sleep can increase risk of high blood pressure, diabetes, heart related problems. Not enough of sleep can also cause depression, obesity, and even appearance. Therefore, have a good amount of sleep.
There’s absolutely no reason why we should deprive ourselves of beauty. Everyone deserves to be beautiful and feel in own skin.
The key takeaways from this article is that you should focus more on your inner looks that outside looks. Outside looks only charm people for a short period of time and then the charm vanishes. After that, the inner beauty is the most important.
Don’t neglect your well-being and relationships too. Take care of yourself and you’ll certainly have no doubts about your beauty.