Every situation has a silver lining – discover a mindset that heals and enlightens.
August 17, 2021 · 7 min read
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. – Eleanor Roosevelt
Are you assembling your shattered pieces and want to move on from this toxic phase that is leading you nowhere?
I could imagine your recent situation by recalling mine.
This happens when we pour our love and all emotions into other’s life and vacate ourselves to reflect within others.
Your honesty and truthfulness in some relations don’t pay you back that will cultivate self-hatred and not good enough thoughts within your mind.
With lost confidence, you can’t drive the vehicle of your relationship positively. If you’re striving to know how to regain confidence, then it just requires patience and valuable time from your side to place things back to their position.
To value your struggle, this article is going to help you through 8 effective ways to regain confidence in life.
Why do people lose confidence in life and relationships?
People lose confidence because they get hurt in some sort of way. People could be hurt by hard criticism, break-ups, their opinion could be always turned down.
Losing confidence in life and relationships is the most common issue that is strengthening its roots within our society and because of that we keep asking ourselves how to get confidence back.
In that regard, we surrender ourselves to situations and lose confidence in life.
However, this type of situation only reflects our weaknesses, poor decisions, and inability to deal with life challenges.
Here I am going to highlight a few major reasons that became the fundamental cause behind losing confidence, you can relate yours with these.
5 Major reasons behind losing confidence
Reason #1 - Dependence
Social beings have to depend on others regarding their physical or emotional needs.
For that purpose, you have to build a strong relationship with others to fulfill your essential needs.
Nobody could deny that dependence is the biggest factor that is confining us to specific relationships that need to end.
Depending financially or emotionally on others will only result in a loss of confidence. Moreover, dependence became the biggest flaw of our lives.
You’ve got to take the initiative and play your game. In a decisive set, confidence is the difference. – Chris Evert
Therefore, we try to please others at any cost to retain our relations with them.
This phenomenon of pleasing others always leads to emptiness and insignificance. Never get me wrong, dependency is a good thing, but over-dependency will rob your freedom.
Reason #2 - Lack of self-worth
To please others and to satisfy their needs, we all become unaware of ourselves.
We usually think about other’s happiness and peace and forget to think about ourselves. Investing time, efforts, love, and care to cater to the relationships, we ignore our self-worth.
This is because we do not think that we deserve to be loved. Losing confidence in a relationship is due to our firm belief that we are not good enough.
Living in a loving relationship or an abusive relationship, you have to spend some time with yourself. So, you should pour kindness and compassion into yourself.
Respecting yourself doesn’t mean that you’re superior to others or having a feeling of pride, it means that you have the right to enjoy your attention.
Relationships could break, people could leave you and at that moment you need you to support yourself.
Do not fear losing others, fear losing yourself because you can’t get yourself back.
Reason #3 - Criticism
With parasitic nature, criticism also rules over our lives. Due to criticism, we lose our confidence to deal with emerging problems and give up either in life or in relationships.
We all become prey to destructive criticism that sucks our self-esteem and confidence.
Of course, criticism plays a pivotal role in our self-growth, but negative criticism always leads us toward dark pathways that are devoid of hope.
Don’t waste your energy trying to change opinions … Do your thing, and don’t care if they like it. -Tina Fey
If you’re losing confidence in life, then you should concentrate on all critics that are turning your life into a miserable situation.
Remember that, you can’t change others’ minds that are already fixed, but changing your mind will change your life.
If you want to be more confident, then turn a deaf ear and blind eye toward critics to live a peaceful life.
Reason #4 - Affected by others’ behaviours
Some situations and behaviours became the source of losing confidence. Most people easily lose their confidence by sensing a change in others’ behaviours.
This is because they believe that there’s something wrong with them or they’re not moving on the right track to please others.
Due to others’ weird behaviours, they torture themselves for not being good enough for others and lose confidence.
It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes. - Sally Field
In relationships, detecting changes in your partner’s behaviour always triggers a feeling of sadness and disappointment within you.
Have you ever noticed that his/her bad mood is automatically ruining your good mood?
The reason is, you forget about your happiness for others’ sadness.
Reason #5 - Trusting someone blindly
The biggest mistake that we all commit in life is to trust someone blindly. Turning a blind eye to others will only regret you in the future.
However, this doesn’t mean that you’re going to mistrust your partner or always doubt about their intentions.
Trust is the building block of every relationship. On the other hand, you should keep your eyes open and upgrade your confidence level.
So, your relationship could become your strength in life rather than your weakness.
8 Effective Ways to Regain Confidence for Relationships
To regain confidence for relationships you will have to work on yourself. You will have to re-learn how to trust people and most importantly, trust yourself.
Of course, some relationships suck your kindness, love, happiness, smile, satisfaction, joy, freedom, compassion, and confidence.
To regain all your lost parts, you have to struggle for the sake of yourself.
1.Respect yourself
If you’re willing to break up with your partner after years of relationship or want to patch up with your ex, just respect yourself.
Respecting your opinions, dreams, goals, priorities will boost your self-confidence. You won’t ever have to question yourself how to get confidence back.
If a relationship is boosting your confidence and helping you to grow in life positively, then you’re on the right track.
On the other hand, if you’re the only one who is trying to prolong a relationship by disrespecting yourself, ignoring your dreams, and pleasing others every time, then you have chosen a deteriorating path that will only drain your energy.
Therefore, before engaging yourself with anyone else, prioritize your self-respect.
If your partner is not valuing your self-respect and hurting your self-respect by pinging your pain points, then you have the right to step out.
When you respect yourself or value yourself then others will also value you.
However, if you’re disrespecting yourself, then what can you expect from others?
Respect yourself and be more confident in life.
2.Give yourself time to heal
In every matter, each of us wants to get immediate results. Believe that, life is a series of ups and downs.
With every difficulty, there comes easiness. If you have undergone any trauma or experienced a toxic relationship, you’re still a prisoner to past incidents. In that regard, you should try to heal yourself to improve your mental and physical health.
Remember that healing requires time, because there are no magical steps for the healing process. Without a doubt, healing is a slow process, but will be worth your whole life.
When you have confidence, you can have a lot of fun. And when you have fun, you can do amazing things. - Joe Namath
But how could we heal from all wounds that are becoming part of our skin? In that regard, you have to take risks in life. I know, at that time you may try to live within your comfort zone and cry for the whole night.
In those specific moments, you should step out and chase the world like never before. Start doing exercise, join a gym, meditate, participate in competitions, surround yourself with happy people, and learn new skills to invest your time in productivity.
In a busy life, you will forget about all the wounds that were scratching your skin.
3.Turn your flaws into strengths
One of the answers on how to regain confidence is to turn your flaws into strengths. For that purpose, you should realize your inner potential.
When you start recognizing your strength, you will become more confident in every aspect of life. To empower yourself, you have to spend some time alone.
Spending time with yourself and fixing your flaws will help in your life. Make a list of promises to yourself that you’re not going to think about the past and will rejoice every moment of the present because your life is precious.
How could you spend your whole life under the burden of toxicity, negativity, regretting, disappointment, hating yourself?
Do you deserve all these or you have the right to live a happy and confident life?
Think about it.
4.Adopt new hobbies
Spend your leisure time on useful hobbies rather than scratching your wounds that will only leave scars in your life. I know, you have lost confidence and interest in everything.
Give a few minutes to yourself and think about why you’re punishing yourself for everything that happened in the past?
Perhaps everything came your way to strengthen you so you can seek lessons for life from all your past experiences.
Get up, take a bath, get a new haircut, talk to a friend, choose a new hobby, and spend your time boosting your productivity.
Clear your mind from all weeds that are turning your productive land into barren land and grow plants of love and happiness there.
5.Consult a psychologist
If you are still questioning how to get confidence back after losing your stamina during unhealthy relationships, you should consult a psychologist.
With the help of psychological therapies, you can silence your storm of negative thoughts. You can gain your lost confidence by discussing every issue with your psychologist.
On the other hand, if you’re not interested in visiting a psychologist, then discuss your issue with a trustworthy person who will listen to your thoughts without judging you.
This tactic will reduce the weight of thoughts that you’re continuously poisoning you.
6.Forgive and forget
If you’re willing to know how to regain confidence in life, then apply this two-step formula in life.
Forgive and then forget is the easiest way to come out of the toxic zone that is driving you nowhere.
This formula will work perfectly in your life when you start realizing its positive outcomes. Holding grudges or having hatred feelings in your mind will only poison your mindset with negativity.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. - Oscar Wilde
To deal with all alarming situations, you should start forgetting about negative things just as a nightmare that has no existence in your life now.
However, you should also forgive all people and situations that become a source of hardships in your life.
Forgiving and then forgetting will enable you to move on in life and regain your confidence in yourself.
7.Silence your inner critic
Do you know that we all have an inner critic that lies within ourselves and force us to recall all past moments to experience sadness?
Inner critics try to manipulate every situation and rob our confidence in this way. You have the power to silence this inner critic by empowering yourself.
Otherwise, your inner critic will become your biggest enemy in life and confine you to the shackles of the criticism. To silence your inner critic, you should meditate.
Certainly, ground meditation has enough power to silence your inner critic and will enhance your confidence level.
Final Words
You have the potential to regain your lost confidence and spend a life of your choice. To be more confident in life, you have to overcome all obstacles in life that are draining your energy and confidence.
So, if you’re enthusiastic to spend a happier and confident life that will be free from regrets, then prioritize yourself.
Most importantly, you’re in charge of your life and you should decide what kind of life you deserve, either a confident or a life full of disappointments.